


Acquired Tastes

by ThatgirlnamedEleanor



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Cannibalism, Established Relationship, F/F, no I have no idea what I'm doing either, trying to make cannibalism wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 07:09:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15480330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatgirlnamedEleanor/pseuds/ThatgirlnamedEleanor
Summary: Hours later, Amanda’s hair lay on the pillows like a dark halo, and she’d whispered, softly, “I’ve always wanted to try cannibalism.”





	Acquired Tastes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hatchet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatchet/gifts), [Jemi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemi/gifts).



There was something terrifyingly vulnerable in Amanda’s eyes as she was led to the table, and it made Eleanor ache. Kindness, intimacy, love- it was all alien to her, no doubt a product of her past, and Eleanor delighted most in those tiny moments when she finally opened up, eyes wide and speech quick and feelings spilling, pouring out of her like blood from an artery. In one of those moments, tangled together in the middle of the night, Amanda had shared more than just her emotions: a confession. It had given Eleanor the idea for tonight, and she only hoped it would go down well.

Using the hand she wasn’t using to hold Amanda’s, she gestured towards the table itself. It was tucked into a corner of the lair, as private as she could make it. Adam had helped her with the candles, Lawrence with the flowers, and the tablecloth was one of her mother’s, stolen after their last disappointing dinner and smuggled into the lair in a duffle bag full of weapons. “I’m sorry it’s not more secluded-”

Amanda shook her head violently, eyes bright with what Eleanor realised moments later were tears. “It’s perfect.”

Another rush of sadness hit her- evidently, no one had ever done anything like this for Amanda before. Eleanor quickly gathered her girlfriend into her arms, resting her chin on her head briefly before leaning down to kiss her hair and then stepping back. “I’ll be right back; Logan’s helping me with the food.” she said, pulling out a chair for Amanda, who chuckled.

“Fuck, I guess chivalry’s not dead.”

Eleanor shot a bright smile back before turning and walking to the kitchen. She really fucking hoped Logan hadn’t messed up. It wasn’t like she could just nip to the store to get more meat. 

“-So I can’t just try a tiny bit?” Adam was saying as she pushed open the kitchen door. The scene that met her was lovely- Adam and Lawrence sitting round the kitchen table, Logan at the stove, the sounds and smells of sizzling meat- but she barely glanced at any of them, making a beeline for the stove and, more importantly, the ‘steaks’. 

“No, Adam, sorry,” She said. “If you really want to, though, I’ll see what I can do another time. Logan- how’s it going?”

“They seem okay, actually. I know you said she likes steak rare, but I didn’t want to risk it, baring in mind- you know.” Eleanor nodded. “Plus... Melissa likes them well done and it’s the only way I know how to cook them, really.” He smiled sheepishly.

“That’s great, seriously. Thank you so much for doing this.”

“No problem! Anything for my favourite assistant.”

Eleanor smiled up at Logan, never more thankful that she knew him than in that moment. She was thankful for all of them, really- Adam and Lawrence and Logan and John; their entire strange little family (though the less said about Hoffman, the better). 

And, of course, Amanda. Amanda, who she’d been obsessed with long before she actually knew her. Amanda, who she’d fallen in love with through news broadcasts and interviews and transcripts of police tapes, and who she’d then fallen in love with all over again once they actually met. Amanda, who’d been initially hostile- but who could blame her, when she herself had been so awkwardly starstruck? They liked to laugh about it now, when they were up to their elbows in grease or sweating from the heat of blowtorches or painting the finishing touches onto their traps, which they always built together now. Their traps were labours of love, in the most literal sense. And there was no one alive that Eleanor loved more than Amanda Young.

“I think these are ready!” Logan said

Eleanor snapped out of her reverie, moving to help him. It was time.

 

* * *

 

She carried the plates, and Adam, who’d volunteered as a waiter, carried the drinks. He sat them down on their table with a quick smile, then left, winking at Eleanor as he did so. She was oddly nervous about actually taking the plunge and eating it, so she reached for her drink first. “This is called a Blood and Sand.” she told Amanda, pleased when the name prompted a smile.

“Honestly, El… just, thanks. Not just for this, but- everything. You don’t know how much it means to me. How much  _ you  _ mean to me. I mean- fuck, I’m so shit at this-”

Eleanor reached across, squeezed her hand. “You’re not. Promise.”

“No, I am. I’m completely fucking awful at trusting people enough to open up to them properly. But you really, really help with that.” The sheer gratitude in Amanda’s eyes was almost enough to bring Eleanor to tears- how was it that no one had ever, in the whole course of her life- seen how incredible this woman was? “You help with everything,” she said, and Eleanor melted, unable to even say anything for fear of saying it wrong.

She finally picked up her knife and fork and, figuring there was no time like the present, cut a sliver of meat off the corner of her steak. It seemed well cooked- Logan had done a good job. She took a deep breath. It wasn’t like she was scared, precisely. It was just that, after this, an aspect of her would be permanently changed. Without giving herself any more time to think about it, she placed the meat in her mouth, and began to chew.

She was immediately surprised. It was nothing like she’d expected- far closer to beef than pork, but somehow softer, sweeter, more tender. Logan had only seasoned it minimally, as per her instructions that as much of the natural flavour should be allowed to shine through as possible (for obvious reasons), but she thought that if she was to eat it again- and she realised, abruptly, that she’d like to- it might go nicely with rosemary, or garlic. It was… actually really nice. She took another bite, then looked over at Amanda.

Her face was a picture of confusion and she chewed, evidently trying to work out what it was that she was eating. “Hey, El… what-”

Eleanor swallowed another piece. “Do you remember our one month anniversary?”

More confusion. “As in- when you bought that fucking expensive champagne, and I said that one month isn’t an anniversary, because it’s  _ not _ , and I went to your apartment for the first time?”

Eleanor nodded. It had been a wonderful evening- their relationship still new and miraculous, neither one of them fully able to grasp that it was actually happening but enjoying every second all the same. They’d argued about the one month thing back and forth for hours, jokingly, getting more and more tipsy until the argument was the funniest thing they’d ever heard and there was no choice but to finish it by kissing, warm and spontaneous and loving, and by burrowing under Eleanor’s soft sheets and cutting out the rest of the world. 

Hours later, Amanda’s hair lay on the pillows like a dark halo, and she’d whispered, softly, “I’ve always wanted to try cannibalism.”

Eleanor had snuggled closer. “Any reason or just… general curiosity?”

“I don’t know, just… it seems so stupid that everyone treats it like it’s the worst thing you could possibly do, when in reality, it’s just what we do to other animals. We’re not better than them, y’know? We’re all just meat. We’re all just food.”

“That’s… actually very true.” Eleanor had replied, kissing Amanda’s neck softly. They both knew that to be true all too well, what with the traps and tests they’d chosen to dedicate their lives to. Failure was frequent, and they saw the proof of Amanda’s thinking every day.

There was a moment of silence, and then: “You’re not… disgusted?”

Eleanor paused. “What? No. Why-”

“People usually are, when I tell them that. Or scared.”

“I’m not disgusted. Or scared.” She dipped her head back down to kiss her properly; felt Amanda’s fingers running through her hair and shivered at the sensation. “I could never be scared of you.”

They’d never spoken of it again, but Eleanor hadn’t forgotten. She’d just… waited for the right time. Which, in the end, had turned out to be now.

She watched as Amanda replayed the evening, trying to figure out what she meant until finally, her eyes widened. She set down her cutlery, then looked up at Eleanor, trembling slightly. “Is- is this…?”

Eleanor smiled, slowly and only a tiny bit smug, shrugging. “You had something you wanted to do. I had access to a morgue.”

Amanda opened her mouth, closed it again. Took another piece of what had once been a part of a fifty-four year old woman’s thigh muscle (her name had once been Joyce and she was a heart attack victim, Eleanor had noticed with interest whilst cutting her up) and chewed it slowly, thoughtfully, her eyes closed. Once she swallowed, she looked back up at Eleanor, a look on her face that Eleanor could only describe as blissful. “Look. Look, I never…”

“Thought you’d be able to do this?”

“Yeah. But, more than that… I’ve always known that I’m a massive fucking weirdo, okay. Don’t say I’m not, because I am. It’s true. This was one of the more… obviously weird things. And people would always react really negatively, so I just… never told anyone. And now. You… fucking hell, El, how do you even exist?!”

Eleanor laughed. “What?”

“I’m serious! I’ve done literally nothing to deserve you- honestly, I’m a shitty person-”

“You’re not-”

“Shh, I am, and not the point. I’m a shitty person, but you love me for that. You love all my weird shit. You fucking bring me people steaks cause I say I want to try cannibalism! You…” she paused. “...you make me okay with who I am. All of me. I’ll quite literally never be able to thank you enough for that.”

Now it was Eleanor’s turn to cry; her vision blurred and her face grew hot and she genuinely cried with joy, because she’d never thought she would mean that much to anyone. She’d certainly never meant that much to her parents.

“Shit, El- did I say something wrong-?”

“No, god no. Sorry, I’m being stupid. It’s just… you make me feel the same way.” Amanda’s fingers found hers and she took a moment to calm down, smiling over at her girlfriend. Eventually, she mopped up her tears, ate another bite, and went to take another swing of her drink before rethinking and holding it up in a toast. “Here’s to being cannibals.”

Amanda laughed, and Eleanor’s heart fluttered, genuinely fluttered, to see her so happy. 

“We have to make cannibal puns in public.”

Eleanor grinned. “Oh god, absolutely. Oh, and Amanda?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy birthday.”

**Author's Note:**

> Blood and Sand is a real cocktail! It's whisky based and apparently goes well with (real) steak. I based the favour of the meat on what real cannibals have said about the experience, so I can't promise it's completely accurate but I can promise I tried my best. I also have no idea when this is set- just imagine an au where everyone is an apprentice and everyone is also happy and completely fine. I offer no explanations, and I also had fun and therefore cannot be judged :D


End file.
